A Dutch Wedding

We had the opportunity to attend a Dutch wedding this weekend, although to be perfectly accurate we actually attended a church service to commemorate the wedding of a young couple. I think for them it was the actual wedding, but as far as the state is concerned, the wedding took place the day before at the local courthouse or town hall. Like so many countries now the official marriages are conducted as civil ceremonies. In many ways the ceremony was like an American wedding and in some ways it diverged. I will share how it was different. The first thing I noticed was that there were no groomsmen at all, not even a best man. The wedding procession began with four bridesmaids coming down the aisle in pairs to beautiful classical music. Behind them were the bride and groom walking together. Apparently father's do not give the bride away in Holland. The wedding party then sat down in the chairs in the front row. The wedding couple would periodically stand and sit throughout the ceremony. The guests were welcomed, then we all sang a song together. In many ways the service was like a regular church service with prayers and the singing of hymns with scriptures read and a short sermon. There was, of course, the difference in the theme which was love and marriage and there was the exchange of vows and rings in the midst of it. Oh, yea, there was some kissing too. There isn't usually too much of that in the middle of ordinary church services. :-) The bride was born in the Netherlands to Dutch parents, but they immigrated to England when she was five years old. She is naturally fluent in English. To accommodate some of her international guests - they came from Serbia, the Ukraine, America, Canada, England and Germany/Austria - they had an English translator for the service and the program came in both languages as well. Here is the wedding ceremony and vows: "We have come together as God's people to witness Dave and Johanna's marriage in God's presence and to ask for His blessing with them and for them. The church of Jesus Christ professes that marriage is a God-given opportunity: a life-long companionship between two people, in which they are given the chance to make each other happy, serve each other, and give each other love and loyalty, in good times and bad times. When a man and woman make this commitment to each other in the name of the Lord, they promise together that they want to belong to each other completely in love and faithfully stand at each other's side in all situations. Together they shall search for God's will in their life; together they shall carry out their task and care for their family. Together they shall accept their roles in society as man and woman, as people on their way to God's planned future. Their unity with each other is a symbol of the unity between Christ and the Church. Therefore, bride and groom, you shall love each other like Christ loved his Church. As Christ gave Himself to His Church, so you shall serve each other, guide and help each other in wisdom, and treat each other with patience and forgiveness. You shall share everything with each other, without denying the other their freedom. In all circumstances, you shall stand at each other's side without dominating the other or following the other blindly. You shall form a close companionship, but at the same time you should realize that your family is part of a bigger picture. Therefore you shall be open to responsibilities outside your own home. You shall carry out your tasks and help each other do this, but you should also make sure that rest and joy have their place and that life is experienced as a gift. In this way, you shall encourage and keep each other in the service of the Lord, who has joined Himself with us and called us to the great wedding feast. Vows: I (name), promise you, (name) To love you and be faithful to you, In good time and bad times, For richer , for poorer, In sicknes and in health, So long as we both shall live. As a sign of my love for you, I give you this ring." Then the pastor blessed the couple and what was unique to me was that among many things, she also blessed their sexuality together. The closest I had ever heard in America was a pastor who prays for the people he marries to be filled with passion - for life, for love, for each other. The couple was presented to the church as man and woman - there is no Dutch word for husband and wife. He is now her man and she is now his woman. Everyone clapped with joy for them. We sang another song together, had another prayer and blessing, then sang together once more before the bride and groom proceeded from the church. We met in the church hall for the reception where several kinds of cakes were served including "wedding cake" which is the decorated kind. The couple cut the wedding cake while photos were taken, then the buffet was open. After eating their cake, the bridal couple and their parents formed a receiving line so the guests could offer their good wishes and love. An interesting thing the bridesmaids did at the reception was to pass out colorful pieces of paper to each guest to write something to David and Johanna and as we left the reception our photo was taken. These photos and notes would then be put together to form a guest book for the new couple. The bride and groom have both worked for TWR as salaried employees, but they will soon begin fund-raising to return as missionaries. We have come to know the bride, Johanna, over the past several months as she has been working out of our offices while she and David planned their wedding and future life together. Though they are both Dutch, they will likely be working in Austria because that is where their previous jobs were located.

Closed on Sundays

I have said before that we live in a very religious area of the Netherlands. And, yes, there is such a thing! You would not know that this area and Amsterdam were in the same country from the local cultures. Amsterdam is known around the world for its anything-goes philosophy of life. Around here it is a different matter,for better and for worse. There are many folks with a deep relationship with the Lord, but this is also the home for what is referred to here as The Black Stocking Church. For them life is all about hard work and The Rules. Think, Amish, with electricity and buttons. The church is heavy-handed with its members. One man had a large family and he bought a duplex and tore down walls to make a larger dwelling for his family. The church decided the house was too large (it was not modest) so he had to sell it. Sunday wear for the men is a dark suit and tie. The women wear dark dresses and a particular kind of hat that is unique to the Netherlands. They all wear the same style hat. I tried to Google a photo, but couldn't find it. Also dark. Everyday dress for women includes a long skirt ( never pants) in dark colors and their hair pulled back in a bun. It is a lifestyle that can best be described as no laughter, no color, no joy. Life is hard and if it isn't , we will be sure to make it so. A large part of our local population belongs to this church and it affects a lot of things. They very strictly keep the Sabbath - they don't even ride their bicycles to church, but must walk. I must confess I don't see how riding a bicycle is more work than walking, I sort of thought it was the other way around. But I digress. This means that all the stores are closed on Sunday, even the gas stations in town. I think it is nice for the stores to be closed so folks can spend the day in church and with their families. A day a rest is a good idea, after all it was the All-Wise God's idea. Though I must confess my surprise to discover yesterday just how far they have taken keeping the Sabbath. They are getting ready to have the Naar Buiten fair on the grounds of the building where TWR has its offices. I have written about it before and may very well again this year. I had been directed to a website for the activites so I could find out when the special events were to be held. I always enjoy these - one year it was border collies doing a shepherding demonstration and the firing of old artillery. Another year it was a display of falconry and a type of dressage on horseback. This year there will be police dogs going through their paces, among others. I had left their website open so I could make notes of the events I wanted to see and when I looked at it yesterday, Sunday, the following message was on my screen. "Thank you for your interest www.naarbuiten.nu. Today is Sunday. We dedicate this day in particular to the service of God. We regard Sunday as a day of rest, a command from God and a gift, which we may be grateful for. For that reason, this site is now closed. Tomorrow you are warmly welcome to this site." Apparently even websites have to observe the Sabbath.

Cat's Claws Update

Jon went on the web looking into neighboring countries laws on declawing cats with the hopes that we could get little Mittens fixed up on this side of the pond. What he found was that declawing had been legal in the Netherlands a little while back (couldnt find the year of the change), but had since been banned as cruelty to animals. He also found out that it is illegal in the entire European Union and that to join the EU a country must make declawing illegal. I never realized how far-reaching the EU laws extended into the sovereignty of each country.

Cat's Claws

It is illegal to declaw a cat in the Netherlands. It is considered cruelty to animals. Apparently they haven't heard of the new laser treatment which is virtually pain free. Our new kitten will be an indoor-only cat and to save her and us a lot of hassle trying to curb her natural instincts to claw at things we want to get those pesky things removed. This actually seems the kinder thing to us and a prime example of how basic values shape culture and the kinds of things which can make cultures clash. Our original plan was to take her back on furlough and get her spayed and declawed during that time. When we checked the airline fees to take her, we found what had once been reasonable has become more than the ticket for a human being to fly! So we were thinking of alternate ideas. Our first thought was to drive to Germany one day and get her declawed there, if it was possible to do so. Our conversation around the lunch table yesterday makes me think it is unlikely. Yesterday our coworkers gathered together for lunch to celebrate a birthday among us. Some of the conversation steered around to our new kitten. As we talked about various things - like what will you do with her in furlough, we mentioned our original plans and our desire to get her declawed. Only the Americans at the table had even heard of this procedure. Even the gal from New Zealand was shocked at the concept. Hmmmm, we shall have to fall back and regroup.

Flying - Patooty

Jon just returned from a business trip to the States. He flies enough and with the conglomeration of airlines he can get a frequent flyer status which affords him some privileges. The most significant one and the one we are most grateful for is the two bags of seventy pounds he is allowed to check in. What is amazing about this is that when we arrived less than four years ago that was the standard baggage allotment for all airline passengers. Right after we arrived it was reduced to two bags of no more than fifty pounds. Now it is one bag of fifty pounds. From the increasing levels of undress needed to go through security to the decreasing amount of luggage we are allowed to carry. I figure before long we will all be required to fly naked without any luggage at all. I think the airlines are run by closet nudists.